The Electoral Season

My opponents are yapping at my heels. I have been asked if I wish them ill. No, I do not wish them ill. If I wished them ill I would withdraw from the race. For this job, finally, is an unmitigated pain in the ass.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.


My opponents are yapping at my heels.

I have been asked if I wish them ill.

No, I do not wish them ill. If I wished them ill I would withdraw from the race. For this job, finally, is an unmitigated pain in the ass.

Yes, there are moments of reward -- as when the Press goes home, or I can just sit back on Air Force One and tell racist jokes; but, by and large, the job is a never ending grind, with little to look forward to but the hundreds of millions of dollars my supporters will be called upon to cough up when I have left office.

Let me serve notice on them now: you may call it "directorships," or "Charitable Institutions," or stock tips, or the "loan" of your beach house, but, friends, I did my part and you're going to do yours.

And, should one of my opponents prove successful come November, I say to them what the aged parents say to those with a newborn: "Ha Ha -- you're in for it now!"

God bless the United States.

-- Charles H.P. Smith

Popular in the Community

Close

What's Hot